"Literally all we had was each other."
Season 6 of Love Is Blind might be over, but we still can't get enough of the cast, especially Amber Desiree "AD" Smith!
Netflix
She had everything we'd want in a reality dating show contestant: a bubbly personality with a hopeless romantic mindset. But when it comes to putting your life on public display, no matter how you portray yourself, you'll still be a target for online criticism.
Well, during a recent interview on the Relationshit with Kamie Crawford podcast, AD opened up about her Love Is Blind experience, rumors about reuniting with her ex-fiancé Clay Gravesande, hurtful comments, and much more.
Here are a few things we learned:
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1. Casting for Love Is Blind takes much longer than you'd think.
Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection
"Casting lasted from October 2022 up until two weeks before we were flown out to LA. [We started filming] March 2023. It's a long process, and they don't tell you anything."
AD was actually working at her ex-boyfriend's nightclub at the time when casting directors first reached out. She said her ex tried to block her from going on the show, but she assured Netflix that she was not in a relationship with her ex and that she was open to doing the show.
2. This wasn't the first reality show AD was pitched.
Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection
"Since 2018, I'd been scouted for a lot of shows — Bachelor, Love Is Blind, Married at First Sight. I don't know what algorithm or file I'm in, but I almost got a DM every single year about being on a show."
3. Laura had the girls believing Clay resembled Tahj Mowry before the couples got to actually meet each other outside of the pods.
Netflix, Jc Olivera / FilmMagic
"There was a thing where Laura had a date with [Clay] and she asked him what he looked like. She drew him to the best of her abilities, like a caricature drawing, and then she came back and was like, 'AD I KNOW WHAT CLAY LOOKS LIKE!' She came back with this piece of paper. He said he has big arms, so she drew the muscles, and I'm looking at the face like, 'What the fuck is this? This kind of looks like Tahj Mowry.' She was like, 'Yeah, he looks like Tahj Mowry!'"
4. The couples were secluded often, despite the amount of times you see them mingling with the other couples and cast members on-screen.
Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection
"In DR, we were kind of sequestered together, just him and I." She added that she couldn't just leave her room and go hang out with the girls. The only time they were allowed to leave the room was for filming and then they came back to each other.
"Literally all we had was each other."
5. Production didn't capture the majority of their deep conversations.
Netflix / Courtesy Everett Collection
"I feel it appeared like I was blindly following him, when there was so much conversation of how much he really, really wanted this. It gave that I [didn't care about red flags], but in reality, I was believing him and trusting him, and he was feeding me all of this stuff."
She heard your pleas on social media for her to "stand up," but it's easier said than done when you're on the outside looking in.
6. AD said she told Clay off-camera to let her know if he ever changes his mind about wanting to pursue marriage with her.
Netflix
She said she gave him the opportunity, but he continued to tell her how much he wanted the marriage.
7. AD and Clay didn't see their wedding episode until they came to film the reunion.
Netflix
"We saw it the night before. We hadn't been in contact, and the first time we saw each other was to go on that stage and talk about it. I cried myself to sleep that night. I cried that morning. The first time I saw him, I immediately saw the pain in his eyes, because I had that same gut feeling. So, when he got on that stage, that's why I was reacting like that [to him] because it's the first time I'm hearing it...this is the first time we're speaking to each other. That was real raw emotion."
8. AD didn't buy Clay's excuse about her finances being the issue.
Netflix
Clay had a hard time understanding how AD could be comfortable, financially, without working a solid 9–5 job. For those who don't know, AD is a realtor and would previously work nights at her ex's nightclub. She was able to prepare herself and commit to coming on the show because as a realtor, she can create her own hours. She quit working at the nightclub because ultimately she didn't want to work until 3 a.m. at her ex's establishment while preparing to marry someone else.
AD said Clay knew all of this information, but somehow, he was still confused. He never asked to see any bank statements from her or anything to verify. At the same time, she said he was having trouble at work.
9. The real reason Clay said no at the altar is still unclear.
Netflix
"He said he felt pressured...backed into a wall. [Producers] were trying to find a reason for why he said no to me. They asked, 'Is it her looks?' He said, 'It's never her looks.' They kept listing all these things, and I guess he just fumbled under the pressure and said, 'It's her finances, and I'm not in love with her.' I'm like, 'You're not in love with me? What is happening?'"
10. The online reactions to AD and the choices she made on the show were hurtful, especially when the negative feedback came from other Black women.
Netflix
"That was probably the main reason why I stopped reading comments because, my heart was broken. Not only am I carrying the entire Black woman race on my back during this experiment, and doing it with the most grace and the most integrity, and not showing my ass, and knowing that I'm holding this baton that potentially won't get passed on if I act a certain way — there's a lot of pressure that people don't understand.
Reading those comments shattered me. I was extremely disappointed. There were think-pieces on my hair, my lashes, my dress...that's the focus? Give people grace, especially in this community when talking about my hair shouldn't be the battle I'm fighting every day."
11. AD didn't feel sexualized by Clay or the cast.
Netflix
"There were a lot of jokes and a lot of playing...these people became my friends in a short amount of time. We became really close. I don't think the cast is to blame. I think there were angles and edits that maybe focused a lot on my body, but I'm not going to blame Clay or the cast for that. I wanted Clay to see me in a sexual way, because he was my fiancé. Also, I think the question should be pointed to them. Why do you feel so comfortable talking about my body? I'm just here existing."
12. The public was more outraged with Clay than AD was when he said, "Okay, body" as she walked down the aisle in her wedding dress.
Netflix
"Why is that so triggering to everyone? Because he didn't call me beautiful? No one understands our banter. No one really knows how we talk to each other. People were like, 'Oh it sounds like they're talking in IG comments.' So what. Who cares if he said, 'Okay, body!' We're reading too deep into this. I loved it. I want him to think I have a nice body. I'm wearing a sexy ass dress. The things people are reading into are almost ridiculous."
13. AD believes Clay did love her and she loved him.
Netflix
14. The pod dates lasted as long as actual dates in the real world.
Netflix
"Those pod dates are long! We're in those pods for hours, all day long, just talking. We're prompted with questions...deep questions. Every day was a different set of questions, like physical, marital, family history, etc. You're deep-diving, so that one date that lasts for hours feels like a month of stuff that you probably haven't said out loud in forever. So, I don't know. I did love him, I really did."
15. Yes, AD did spend Thanksgiving with Clay's family, but that's not the whole story.
Ashley Vera / tiktok.com
AD confirmed she was invited to spend Thanksgiving with Clay, his mom, and the rest of his family. She brought his mom a bottle of wine. They had some innocent family fun, and then AD left to go on a date. Nothing more, nothing less.
16. AD wants the world to know Matthew Duliba is not the walking red flag everyone thinks he is.
Netflix
After revealing she went on a couple of dates with him before the reunion, AD said his personality didn't really shine through on-screen. In reality, AD said Matthew is silly and really sweet.
17. AD didn't get to choose her wedding makeup artist.
Netflix
"There was such a makeup faux pas before my wedding. It was bad. It was bad! I specifically said I need someone who is well-versed in Black women and dark skin. They were like, 'Okay, yeah.'"
She then let out a loud, audible sigh.
18. No one is given alcohol on the show, but it is made available. It's more of a "drink at your own discretion" vibe.
Netflix
19. Lastly, AD is NOT open to going on a date with Jimmy Presnell.
Netflix
Jimmy recently did an interview where he said he was open to going on a date with AD. Well, she doesn't feel the same.
"We are friends. He's very relatable. I want nothing from that man. I love him as a friend and what we did on the show, but I was not flirting with him — I don't know why he said that. I was like, 'Jimmy, what the hell?'"
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